Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Know your role (this may offend)

My best friend (my husband of 5 years) left this morning for San Diego for 2 days to present what he had been building for the last year, WebPDI.  This man is a genius, it's quite ridiculous! He has learned to code an entire web application, build website, design, front end, back end, everything in under a year. His capacity to learn and memorize code is beyond genius level. I am so blessed to be married to him.

Anyway, early in our marriage, we really realized the power of knowing your role in your relationship.  In today's society there is so much emphasis on women being able to do everything that a man can do, if not better.  THIS IS WRONG.

Women were designed for a purpose, from the get go to be the HELP MATE! And so much of today's problems with children and their behavior and all their problems, I think, boils down to not having a stay at home mother at home to be there, to be their everything.  Husbands are expected to come home from work, help with diapers, do the dishes, help with laundry, in addition to being the bread winner. All this because the mom is also working, so that she feels like she is contributing too.  Why is everything centered around money? It bothers me so much that the woman feels she isn't contributing because she isn't bringing home a pay check, but her role is crucial to be the HELP MATE.

That said, if you are still reading and aren't fuming mad, so many of today's problems would dissipate if the mother / wife would just accept her role as the helper and stop trying to be the boss.

Women have a natural ability to multi-task, men do NOT.  If you haven't noticed, if you ask your husband to do the dishes, finish the laundry and clean the living room, he will put the laundry in and sit and wait for it to finish, instead of doing the dishes while he's waiting.   He was geared this way on purpose, God knows what He is doing.  The man's ability to focus on ONE task is outstanding.  They need to be able to do one task, if that is what is expected of them, they will succeed!  If they are also expected to come home and help with the kids, finish the dishes and laundry, their ability to do the first task (be the bread winner) will fade.

Society is making women feel like they are suppressed, but in reality God doesn't want women to be put down, He just wants the men to RISE up! 

Do what you are good at and get good at what you are called to do.  As a wife and a mother, it is my sole purpose to respect my husband and be his help mate.  It's so sad that today this role had been made to be a "depressed" role... grrr! Women are complaining that they feel "alone" with the kids all day, like the maid. It's like an NBA player complaining that his job sucks because he has to run lines and work out, and can't just play basketball every day... so stupid. We are the ones who assist. We pass them the ball so they can make the shot, so that WE can win!  Sorry, but we {{usually}} aren't good at shooting, but we are awesome at passing and making sure they have the ball, to shoot and score.

  • It is my job to be THE support system for my husband, to encourage him and make sure he knows how awesome he is and what a blessing he is in this family.  If a man is encouraged and praised, he will strive for more. But if a man is always nagged, he will give up.  Women are to submit to their husbands, that means that there is a MISSION to SUPPORT.
  • It is my job to be the intercessor for my husband, to be the prayer warrior for him. To pray God's hand over all he does. 
  • It is my job to be the launching pad for my children, to make the best rockets EVER!  To make sure they know that they are my everything, that the Embassy that their father is building for them, will always be here for them.  When a child is secure, they really fly.
That is the most empowering role I can think of. Women feel depressed because they don't know their role and don't act on it. 

Now the most important thing is to make sure you marry a Godly man, or all your efforts will be in vain.  I'm 26... still learning. I am glad we married young, we are growing and learning together.  Watching my father in law and step mother in law marry at the age of 55, it's like watching two old oak trees try to merge as one, not happening.  But when you try to merge two young saplings, they make one big strong tree and grow together, protecting each other.

It's just as Stephen is gone, I really feel the need to pray. He is out in battle, I am the intercessor to make sure his efforts weren't in vain. That Philippians 1:6 holds true, He who began a good work is faithful to complete it.


Michelle said...

I love it Melissa, thanks for the reminder. :) We married young too (20) and this summer will be our 8th anniversary. We've spent our entire adult lives together. We are one!! Your hubby & kids are so blessed to have you in their lives.

Michelle said...
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