Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love Dare

So, my dearest SIL is getting a divorce after 8.5 years of marriage, 2 sons (7 &5), and moving to Hoonah, Alaska to be missionaries. I just hate my ex-BIL... but I won't go into too many details, he is chatting it up with one of her old friends, in a not so innocent way.

I grew up without a dad until I was 5 when my mom remarried. My step dad wasn't the best dad, he never treated me like the princess I wanted to be but I can't complain, because at least I had a father. In the meantime, I'll I've ever dreamed of was to have an awesome husband, who is an awesome devoted father and tons of kids running around the house. I'd be in a blissful chaos. So I ordered the book "Love Dare". It is a 40 day journery, where each day you do something new. Example, Day 1: Be patient. Don't let anything your partner says bother your or get you upset. Day 2: Be kind. Do something out of the ordinary to be proactive to make your partner feel super special.

Well, today is day 2. And Stephen is actually doing it with me. I'm so excited!! We don't have the best relationship and he can be quite moody. One minute telling me how much he loves me, then next telling me that I'm not supportive. So, it means the world that he is willing to put forth effort for your relationship instead of spending the whole day on the computer.

We spent our 4 year anniversary at his parents house and they had the movie "Fireproof" based on Love Dare. I begged him to stay in and watch the movie for our anniversary instead of going out to dinner and he agreed. Of course that movie is super "Christian Cheesy" but it makes good points. And he said, "We should get the book". I couldn't believe my ears. But a couple weeks went by and he never got it, so I just ordered it online (along with Duggars, 20 and counting, LOL)

So today, I am going to go grocery shopping and buy him Corned beef and cabbage. His favorite meal... and my most HATED meal. :-D He brought me coffee in bed, LOL. Progress is progress!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Use your words

For those who have or have had toddlers, you know this phrase all too well, "Carter, Use your words". Wining, crying, pointing, grunting, etc... are all ways for little ones to get what they want and they are all acceptable until about the age of 2, when they are expected to start using words to make sentences to let you know what they want. For example, Carter is a pretty good talker, when he wants to be. He is fully capable of walking up to me and saying "Banana, please, mommy". But that doesn't mean he won't stand in the kitchen, when I'm standing right there and just try to reach onto the counter grunting as if to say "give me banana... I am caveman". I know he wants a banana but I still expect him to ask, and ask nicely.

I was just thinking that it is the same way with God. I was reading some online prayer requests and I came across one that went something like this:

"Hey God, it's me. I'm just wondering if you can help me with that thing I asked about. It's getting harder to deal with and you know who is not happy... "

I know God knows all but God created us to have a RELATIONSHIP with Him and that includes conversing and talking with Him. He knows who "you know who" is but that doesn't mean He doesn't want to hear you talk about that person and discuss it with Him.

For example, every day I ask Stephen how his sales went that day. Now I could just look at his commission statement online but that wouldn't be a relationship. I want to converse with Stephen, hear his voice, know that he wants me to know about his life. It means a lot to me when Stephen shares his dreams and short falls with me because he is letting me into his world. I married this man and I want the best for him and it breaks my heart when he feels he can't share something with me for some reason. I want to know what I can do to help him and support him.

It's the same with God. He knows all about us and what we are going through but that isn't a relationship. He desires us to share our lives with him, not go to him like an ATM machine when we need something.

I'm trying to work on this... "Never pray for longer than 10 mins but never go 10 mins without praying".. Billy Graham.
I'm praying that we get pre-approved for a rehab loan so we can buy this 1900's Victorian with 2,750 sq feet, 3 bed, 2 bath, office, living, family room, laundry. I would need to do A LOT of work all for under $35,000 but I believe I can do it, with God's help.

All that to say, when I pray, I'm "using my words".
"Thank you father God for being so amazing and giving me a healthy body, a great husband, beautiful healthy sons and blessing me with the dreams and ability to do construction and design. This property is perfect for my family and parents and grandma. We could all live on the same property but have our own space. Grandma would have a huge garden area for her tomatoes and plants. She would still be close to her doctor and senior center. Mom and dad would have their own space and not have to worry about having a mortgage and they could save enough to pay off their debts. The (3) bedrooms are huge, the layout is perfect and the architecture is amazing. We could have big family parties in the huge dining, Stephen would be more efficient having his own office to get more done. I would have the kitchen, casual dining, and family room all in one great room so I can be doing laundry, making dinner, and cleaning all while in the same room as them. The attic would be a great place for Jake until he wants to move out and we would all live together. I would make meals for everyone to save money and we are in walking distance of a great park and coffee shop.
I am just walking my faith as I calculate all the work and supplies that I will need to finish this house. You want the best for us. You are our daddy and love us more than anything. Nothing is too difficult for you and I know you will give us favor for this house and property and renovations. In your name I pray, Amen!!"

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Boys and their TOYS

I haven't posted in a while. Had DS2 (Dear Son #2, for those who don't blog or use forums). August Hinley born June 21, 2008 at 5:31am. Labor was awesome, 2 hours of contractions, 3 pushes and I had my baby in my arms.

Fast forward 8 1/2 months later **sniffle**, my boys are growing too fast. Carter will be 3 in one month and one day, which reminds me: I better get planning. I just feel so lucky and I am so blessed.

Most think I am not the best house keeper and their accusations are only partially true. I always have the dishes done, kitchen clean, laundry kept up, and floors swept (most of the time). But as far as toys go, that is a whole different ball game. I like to keep the dishes and laundry done because it will pile up and keep piling up. But as far as toys go, he only has so many (which is too many) but none-the-less, only a toy box full. And without fail, every time I clean them up (or make him clean them up), the entire toybox is all over the floor and scattered throughout the house. BUT the toys can't pile up. But you will need to enter my house with caution because you will stub your toe on a dump truck the size of a kitchen sink or step on one measly lego that will hurt like no other.

But what can I say, both of my sons are very well behaved and obedient. So that is my justification, "Honey, do you want a clean living room or well mannered children". The answer is obvious.